“as iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” – proverbs 27:17
i have really, really good friends.
maybe that sounds silly or trite, or even obvious, but i’ve been thinking about it a lot lately. i think i’ve said it here before, but i’m the type of person that can really wallow in self-pity, and get stuck on all of the things i wish i had that i don’t. i can always tell how well someone really knows me by how surprised they are when i describe myself as moody af. and for years (i’m talking up until very, very recently) i considered being temperamental was a compliment. (creatives are supposed to be moody and temperamental, right?)
i’ve been making a concerted effort to go against type lately, and so i’ve been focusing on exactly what i do have–and what i have are some good. ass. friends.
while going through the oft times tumultuous last several years of my life, i’ve been blessed with opportunities for fellowship in several places and out of those spaces i’ve met people who sharpen me in every good and meaningful way. i’ve even reconnected with a couple of people who are even more important to me now than they were when our friendships–and ourselves–were too young to fully value what friendship can be. these relationships are vital to me now, in the same way that oxygen or water is. and while i know that sounds overly dramatic, it’s true.
on the flip side of that, i’ve come to reevaluate a few other relationships and i’ve come to the conclusion that some people are really not my friends–at least not based on what my personal definition of friendship is. once upon a time i would’ve found all of this deeply distressing and even now it doesn’t come without a bit of discomfort. but that’s also ok. because while i’m sifting out the relationships that don’t actually add value to my life, i realize i’m making room for those that do.
the positive for me is that i’ve found an abundance of grace for the ones i used to call friends. they aren’t, not any of them, bad people. they aren’t people with any sort of malicious intent. there are certain things that i value in personal relationships, things that either exist or don’t. and i think that in the unique exchange of energy from one person to another, in the unique chemistry that is created between two personalities, sometimes the result just works and sometimes it just doesn’t. and that’s ok. i’m sure there are people who have needed something from me that i’ve been incapable of giving to them. and i truly hope they find it in abundance with other people in their lives. i also hope they have grace for me, as well.