it’s been quite some time since i was last here. nearly 2 years in fact. just typing that out makes me feel several different things. ashamed is probably at the top of the list. i start so many things, with so much enthusiasm and vision, and just peter out. sometimes i think i need someone who can take all of my ideas and actually…do them for me. or help me do them. consistently. anyway, i’m not really back to talk about that.
which actually brings me to the point: why i’m BACK. here. now.
ok, so i’m part of this…we’ll call it a community of writers. there’s a particular place we all gather on the interwebs to share our fiction. writers come and go. and sometimes the ones that go, leave amazing stories behind. i came across one such story a couple of years ago, and recently was re-reading it. it isn’t finished, but it’s so very good that i decided i had to try to reach out to the author to see if there was any way she was planning on coming back. her last update was approximately 18 months ago, so the chances were slim, but i did it anyway.
using what is probably her penname (and not like, government name) i did a quick google search, and oddly enough came across a blogger who goes by the same name. i don’t necessarily think that this blogger and that author are one and the same (and the name isn’t particularly uncommon or anything–and there’s nothing about the blog that in anyway links to the story) but what was fascinating to me is that this blog is run by a single mom (!) with two boys (!!) in the chicago area (!!!)! like, what? and how? and just because of some random search for some random author of some random story?
i like to call it kismet, when a thing happens and you just know it was a thing that was supposed to happen. it’s shorthand for me, and believe me, all of those kismet-y things, i fully believe were orchestrated by His hands. even the tiniest, most random-seeming things. so when i use the term kismet, i don’t mean it to take anything at all away from God’s sovereignty. i needed encouragement. and to see someone else doing the things i’m doing, and thriving. and i saw it on that blog. and it made me smile, and it also made me come back and log in to this here blog.
there’s this weird thing about starting a blog that’s kind of like shouting out into the space. i find myself wondering what’s the point if no one is even listening. and so i stopped. but, the point is, when i started this blog it wasn’t really about someone (or anyone) listening. and i needed to remember that. but i also needed to remember, that the same way finding that other woman’s blog was a bit of a pick-me-up i wasn’t even necessarily looking for, maybe at some point mine will be for someone else.
i guess that means i’m back.